Aside from living in extremes, there are subtle ways we throw ourselves out of balance. One that comes up a lot is when things get increasingly uncertain, unclear or ambiguous.
When stakes are high, sitting with ambiguity can feel especially unbearable and most of us will try to push it away. It’s normal to feel a bit uncomfortable with a high level of uncertainty. It’s also normal to do a bunch of stuff–like try to control everything and get all grumpy–as a way to combat the anxiety that comes with sitting with so much ambiguity.
When things aren’t moving as fast as we would like it can be tempting to start pushing. Hard. We may really come out of the bag with our Sthira-selves: controlling, pushing, busying, holding-on and efforting ourselves into a frenzy. We overburden ourselves with tasks, we do all the things we think might make us feel more certain and then think of more things.
Some of us drink the workahol down, yum. And then we start to break down. Because our bodies, minds and spirits are tired from all the effort. And look! The highly uncertain thing we can’t-control-but-want-to is still there, unchanged!
Huh.
There’s a saying, “you can’t push the river.” Sometimes things are going to go the way they’re going to go, even if we pull out all the stops. Sometimes trying to control forces that are bigger than ourselves is useless.
Letting go is about giving yourself permission to ease up. It’s about seeing that it is actually better to let go than hold on. Sometimes holding on is hurting you more than helping you. I’m reminded of a post I wrote a few years ago about hoarding. Hoarders hold on to so much stuff that it can get to the point where their holding-on is making them sick or threatening their housing.
We need to wake up when holding-on is hurting us.
We need to cultivate curiosity about how we might be using something to hold onto in order to feel a sense of control in world that feels out of control. When we allow ourselves to really see the reality that we are safe, that attachment is an illusion, that the present moment is all there is, we let go. Or on faith, not knowing these things… we let go and learn.
Letting go is part of the course-correction system that can bring us back to life, back to balance.
current music faves: the national, pixies
current show faves: real time with bill maher, once upon a time
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