Now that we’ve explored Sukha (easing up, letting go) and Sthira (control, effort), let’s explore what being out of balance looks like and how to not live in extremes.
It is interesting to consider the imbalance created if one were to live life in full-on Sukha-mode. With only ease, relaxation and softening we may cease to accomplish much of value, atrophying while we sit on the couch, allowing Netflix to auto-play the next binge-watched episode into infinity.
In contrast, in full-on Sthira-mode: only effort, control, pushing and holding on, we may become tyrannical workaholics, dogged in our ambitions and achievement-orientedness. Relentless in pursuit of exact outcomes or expectations of self or others we stay busy but lose soul. Exhaustion sets in but you don’t notice until you fall over because your body says “no” when you won’t.
Living in either extreme tends to become out-of-balance and feel unhealthy after a while. Eventually we notice and try to correct-course. That being said, it isn’t easy to regain balance.
For example, someone seeking employment for months on end would understandably exercise Sthira a lot with efforts toward improving their station in life and generating income on which to live. Certainly a logical goal. Finding work does indeed require the effort of Sthira. But even in the context of job searching, one’s tireless efforts can become obsessive and cause suffering. Even the job seeker needs balance, I would argue, to be the most effective candidate. She or he needs to be well-rested, relaxed, pulling from her Sukha-side, yet confident and skilled and strengthened in their area of expertise, bringing her Sthira-best; balanced.
Another example might be someone doing online dating and hoping they will meet the partner of their dreams. They have put in the effort of creating a compelling profile, responding to inquiries over email, working on improving their appearance perhaps; putting forth effort to achieve the desired outcome (rocking the Sthira effort stuff). In this case, finding the partner of one’s dreams is not an especially controllable outcome (despite excellent efforts). Isn’t it funny how things happen when people stop looking? Maybe sometimes Sukha or letting go of control and expectation could be key to the goal itself in the end? Though, it is good to note that not putting a dating profile up at all would not necessarily help the goal (must have the Sthira effort along with the letting go of Sukha).
Together, steady efforts of Sthira (in yoga or in life) along with the softening and allowing of Sukha creates balance. Grace Duckworth beautifully states the need to balance both Sukha and Sthira:
In asana practice, when we push ourselves 100% we lose track of our breath because we can no longer control the pace – this is all sthira, only steadiness or effort. On the other end of the spectrum when we find something that is comfortable – like practicing the same posture the same way over and over without challenging a new approach – this is all ease or surrender. We have to find balance between the two. When something is challenging we cannot only push, we have to release somewhere; and when something is easy we search for a way to bring more to the posture or our practice.
“Just find balance” sounds cliche, I know. But it’s kind of awesomely helpful putting it into practice. Sukha/ Sthira offers a deeper way of looking at this truth, perhaps inviting it to take root more fully in your life.
These new ideas can bring new awareness to when we might be pushing too hard or it may help you notice when you might not be pushing hard enough. Balancing ourselves is hard but noticing when we’re out of balance and trying to do something about it is a great start.
For me, I struggle more with too much Sthira, too much doing and not enough easing up. I began to notice when I was overdoing it. I gave myself permission to ease up, let go, let myself not work so hard, and guess what? I was okay! I didn’t even feel guilty, I felt an opening up of possibilities and confidence that things will be alright, even if I’m not putting forth effort all the time. I learned that my working hard is great and all but there’s a limit at which it begins to backfire. There’s a point at which ease, relaxation and letting go is MORE beneficial than working even harder.
By allowing ourselves to be more gentle, more relaxed, more open while putting forth effort and doing awesome stuff, that’s when true growth happens and we find balance.
current music faves: brandi carlile, sia
current show faves: extant, hollywood game night
Visit me at www.erynsmithmoeller.com
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